I have been waiting foreeeeeever for Esthero to come out with some new music.
Definitely one of Toronto’s finest.
I desperately NEED to see her live again.
Seriously, her voice should be illegal.
<3
My eyes are closed, the lighting is horrible, but mygosh I love this boy <3
The other day he saw a photo of me and my 15 year old brother as my background photo on my netbook and said “Oh okay….I see how it is…”
I know he was just acting like he was jealous, but sometimes I worry he really does feel neglected. This brother is at the age where he gets embarrassed if I try to link arms while walking with him, or hug him in public. I have always been super affectionate with my brothers and I swear I will still treat them like babies until they are a gazillion years old.
You have to choose to receive love and you have to choose to give love. That’s the only way love can work. If you don’t choose freely, it’s not love.
“
It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything on here. To be honest, I tried to avoid it. I always worry that I am going to hurt somebody’s feelings with what I write, or offend someone unintentionally. But I miss writing, and right now I feel like that is all I want to do. I have changed so much in the past 6 months; to some it is noticeable, to others, not at all. I suppose it depends on how well you know me. It is very difficult for me to let love in. Giving it out, is not the problem. I used to be extremely cautious with the possibility of ever allowing myself to be too happy, because as history proves, it never lasted too long. I was doubtful. All. The. Time. I had a very hard time trusting people. However, I have progressed so much from that point, in the past four months alone. I was convinced that I had to change the way I loved in order to make anything work. I truly believed that my expectations were unrealistic and that I was the problem. Though it didn’t feel like it at the time, I was compromising way too much of myself for something that would never work anyway, due to a lack in communication. I gave up a lot of what I believed in to try to understand. That’s probably what bugs me the most - how much I changed and how it went unnoticed. Yet despite all of this, I am not angry, and even that irritates me because I think I deserve to be. Still, I’m not…though at times my heart feels heavy. I hate the idea of giving up and I don’t even want to, but when there’s nothing left to hang onto, what else are you supposed to do? I will never understand why so many people undervalue the power of communication. All it takes is a conversation and all could be well again. And yet, if you don’t even get that, realize what it says about how much you’re valued. Memories remain, but even those begin to fade eventually. Sometimes no matter how hard you love, or how much you care, even the effort becomes exhausting - especially when it is not appreciated or reciprocated. Thus ladies, (and gents - because even you are guilty of this), you cannot keep someone in your life who does not want to be there. And you will know if they do. Words can say so much, but actions speak volumes.
“I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savoring this heart that’s healing”
I have no idea why I suddenly thought of this song…but after finding this version I am reminded of why I loved it so much. It’s so weird how a song can mean different things to us at different times in our lives.
